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Thursday, May 21, 2009

This is mine !!

Is it a norm for a toddler ( around Shurkina’s age ) to have high sense of individualistic or self-centered ( I cant get the right word at the moment ) or to be exact unwilling to share ?

Shukrina is not that “friendly”. Friendly in the terms that she doesn’t like to be with people that she are not familiar with. She only wants to be us her parents, the babysitter and family and my papa + my brother. The rest..sorry she will disappoint you. Up to day whenever we go back to MIL’s house, she only want to be with her paksu .Only him. Not my MIL and other in –laws. Kesian kan matok tak buleh nak dokong 1st cucu. But Shukrina will accept when the person offers her food and feed her. Nak dokong..sorry..suap saje buleh..

Over the time, she grows and started to know her ‘property’. She knows her bag, shoes, clothes.. She know which one is umi’s purse, watch, mobilephone.

I noticed she reluctant to share her things with others. And when she saw other people took her belonging, she starts to grab it back roughly .. and other people’s thing.. dia nak pulak..adoiii..jenoh ummi nak kawal.

I did spoke to her telling& persuaded that “Shukrina please share with kakak” or Give kakak some”. Sometimes it works but most of times, she would not listen to me.

I am just afraid that she will continuously behave like this . I observed some other kids ( about Shukrina’s age ) also behave the same way but there are some that very generous . Willing to share. I feel like ‘malunya anak aku dok suka amik barang orang’. Sometimes, I even made Shukrina cry by quickly snatch the thing from her hand and return back to the owner. Is it a wrong way to do so?

Is it because she is the only child in the family and everyone kind of ‘pamper’ her with toys,book,food. She yet to experience sharing with others. Is it happen to other child as well or only my daughter..?

Here is some of my reading on above topic

Toddlers do not share without prompt. It is by no means the natural behavior of a selfish, self-centered two-year-old—and that's the only kind of two-year-old there is. So if you want your child to begin sharing, you need to teach him how to do it—and repeatedly encourage him to share.

Since this is my first child, I would seek for your advise. For abi.. "ala budak budak memang mcm tu, anak sorang pulak tu. Ajaq dia pelan2..”

What I can do now, is keep advising and telling her to share , show her that ummi also care for other people by sharing . She will need to be in crowd at her age more often so that she learn to share rather than be in adults crowd where everyone paying attention and fulfill her need .

Some more tips from Mr Google.

If your toddler does grab a toy (or food or anything else) from another child, you'll need to step in immediately. Quickly and firmly, but without anger (if possible), return the toy to the child who had it first and tell your child, "No grabbing!" Then remind your child that if he wants something that someone else is already playing with, he must:

wait his turn;

ask for your help in setting up turns;

ask the other child nicely and get permission to use the toy; or

offer the other child a trade so that both children end up with something they want to play with.

Practice makes perfect ! Be patient and keep guiding her.

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8 sharing:

Farah said...

yelaa dayah risau jugak kan bila anak taknak share2 ni..susah plak nnt bila ade adik..dgn afif saya cuba utk ambik brg dr tangan die dgn cara lembut (kalau die pegang bende lain selain toys/bende bahaya)...bile amik dgn cara lembut die tak melawan sgt...maybe u shud try that :D

ayuZack said...


Same goes to Farah... She recognize many things belonging to me n her dad.. Example, If someone took my HP from me, she will grab n said.. ibuuuuu laa... (means ibu punya...) then she return back to me...

One situation happened when she played at playground which the places need to shares with others, if let say she's playing ngan gelongsor tu kan.. if others child coming.. she pushed that child, Showing like "this is my teriterioes"... halamak... segannyer ngan other parents... tapi kan.. one thing ayu realize, when the child be gud with her.. want to be a friend with her.. then she will SHARE the things... OMG.. ngan Farah nie kite x le kasar2.. kene berlembut jek ngan dia.. br dia dengaq kate kite...

x tau la wijdan... makin hari makin panjang akal dia...

kakyong said...

salam dayah,

toddler ni dia masa utk dia mula belajar berkongsi.. mungkin seawal suai 2 tahun, dia dah @ akan pandai berkongsi & bermain bersama2..

my kids, anis & fikri.. memang suka berebut brg menan.. setiap kali la ibu kena ckp, 'main lah sama-sama, jgn gaduh2, abg main yg itu, bior le adik main yg ni..' umur mcm anis memang tak leh nak tolerate lagi.. tp fikri dah 3 tahun, so boleh la tolerate.. tp bila anis yg selalu menang, dia pun tak nak ngalah gak... hmmm..

Hanz said...

My dear...our baby about the same age..toddlerhood...currently I seek tips & guidelines (like you-lah) about parenting toddler..just recently post up entry on toddler & insya-Allah more will coming up..care to hop to my chatterbox to have a look?

Dayah said...

kekdg bila tak tahan tu terus garb je dari tangan dia..apalagi melalak la ankku sorg tu..heheh. next time shud be lembut skit..tapi uumi dia ni yg kasaq

Ibu Farah...heheh
Ayu...tu la bila dpn ramai org lagi rasa segan kan kalau anak buat perangai..tapi lama2 ok latu..farah dah semakin besaq

dok tunggu bila dia betui2 memahami dismping teruskn membimbing...ibu memrlukan ketabahan kan!

Dayah said...

Hanz..definitely will hop to urs..mmg byk ilmu di chatter box tu... thanks

nasz said...

wijdan, inshe pon mcm tu la jugak, mmg dia kenal brg ni belongs to sape, brg tu sape punye...

tp inshe tak kedekut. dia suke share brg2 dia. kalo ade budak2 dtg, dia suke budak tu, mmg dia main sama2...

Dayah said...

itu la..lain budak lain pe'el nya..Shukrina ni tak brp ramah sgt dgn budak2 lain..takut2 je nak start perbualan..heheh...mcm la leh cakap lagi..